We are having a fantastic time here in Chateauguay, Quebec. Tears keep showing up arbitrarily and unwantingly but all in all it has been such a refreshing, relaxing time. We have been biking and walking all over the place. We have checked out four different playgrounds already in our time here. We have spent time with Brian's parents, our sister-in-law and kids, and tomorrow will go see his cousin and girlfriend.
We went to Parc Safari yesterday with his parents. It was so much fun. The kids fed the animals during the safari part and we walked to see the rest of the animals. The one animal we forgot to go see before we left is the giraffe. We were bummed about that but saw them just two years ago and will go back some day again I'm sure.
Dylan has practically lived on his bike while being here and Ruby paces wanting to be out there chasing him, but can't because we are in the "city".
Tim Hortons, what is there to say? We LOVE visiting there 1-2 times daily while being here. Their coffee is delicious, and they have sour cream donuts....yum, my favorite.
I had poutine for lunch which is my other downfall food when we are here. It is another fave of mine.
We may head to yet another park in a while, this one has sprinklers for the kids to play in. And tonight we may head to Mount Royal to see the city from the overlook.
It's fun being in a place where there is so much free to do, and so close to do it.
Glad we still have 3 more days to enjoy here before getting back to reality.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Vacation
So I am in Canada at my In-laws for 5 days with 3 of my kiddos. I am a mix of emotions. I am truly enjoying quality time with three of my kids as well as his parents and over the next few days more family and friends. I love coming up here. It is a break from routine. I need that like a breath of fresh air right now, so do the kids. However, leaving one child behind out if necessity and not having my husband travel with us anymore either just breaks my heart, especially when you are traveling familiar childhood territory of your almost former spouse. I teared up a few times on the way up. Memories flooded in several times. And again traveling just 4 of us instead of 6 is torture.
The kids and I have had a blast since getting here. We took Ruby for a bike ride run around the neighborhood, then three of us rode our bikes to the park and I swung high in the sky like a bird on the swings. I felt like a kid again and very relaxed. It was wonderful. All in all this will be a good weekend. I am just worried moving forward what my relationship with these dear people will become, because for all their faults, they are still family. After 17 plus years what else would they be?
Pray for the kids and I that we enjoy our time and relax fully while we are here. And that God would guard my heart. The kid's relationship with these people isn't changing, but mine may be in the very near future and it saddens me deeply.
The kids and I have had a blast since getting here. We took Ruby for a bike ride run around the neighborhood, then three of us rode our bikes to the park and I swung high in the sky like a bird on the swings. I felt like a kid again and very relaxed. It was wonderful. All in all this will be a good weekend. I am just worried moving forward what my relationship with these dear people will become, because for all their faults, they are still family. After 17 plus years what else would they be?
Pray for the kids and I that we enjoy our time and relax fully while we are here. And that God would guard my heart. The kid's relationship with these people isn't changing, but mine may be in the very near future and it saddens me deeply.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Welcome back
I tell you what....God has a sense of humor. My life could either be seen as a comedy or tragedy, you decide. I was reading the last few posts as it has been a while since I was on here. I am amazed at how much has happened since then. I thought it was rough/bad back then, and don't get me wrong, it was. But man, have things truly spiraled downward since then.
I completely trust God with my whole being and I am so glad that I do. I'm glad I have Him in my life and that He is my ROCK. Without Him I would for sure be institutionalized by now. I have moments where I think I may still end up there but for my kid's sake I truly hope not.
Brian moved out January 11th of this year. That day was one of the hardest days of my life. In a lot of ways it has since gotten easier. You adjust and keep moving forward especially when you have four young children looking up to you for your responses and relying on you. Tonight however I can't sleep and I NEVER have trouble sleeping. I am exhausted every night and typically when my head hits that pillow I am out like a light. Tonight though the tears showed up. Again, not something that often happens to me. There has been so much hurt and loss already, yet there may need to be more before we are done.
I have a very love/hate relationship with our dog. She is sweet and lovable but full of it. She is high energy and with all that has transpired in our lives everyone is on autopilot/coping mode. For some that means sitting in front of the tv, some it means never sitting still, whatever it is.....the dog has gotten the raw leftovers. She is not being cared for in the way she needs to be cared for. She is a sweet, sweet girl and Dylan adores her. She is his best friend yet with all the loss he forgets her. Part of me wants to see her go because she destroys everything and makes a mess of everything including our front yard that looks like a minefield. But the other part of me can't bear the thought of losing one more thing/person in my own life let alone my 11-year old's. Brian asked our dentist yesterday if he wanted her. He is thinking about it. I just completely lost it tonight at the thought of her being gone and my broken son's heart.
I was fighting with one of my 14-year old's earlier about getting off Xbox to go to bed. So in thinking about my priorities as a mom and in trying to teach my kid' show to work hard, manage their time, grieve properly, I have decided that the tv's are going away for the rest of the summer as of tomorrow morning. I know most of you probably think. I am crazy(though I don't have many followers anyways), however as hard of an adjustment it will be for all of us, I think it will improve life all the way around when we all adjust. The dog will be better cared for, we will have time for regular devotions, everyone will have time to read, play games together, and get more exercise. All of the relationships within my home will strengthen, all because of ridding my home of a tool that right now Satan is using to tear my home apart. Call me crazy, but if nothing else, will you please pray for us. When we got rid of cable months ago, we didn't really miss it, so now it is time for the next step.
That is where I am at tonight. Not sure how much sense I made at 1:00 in the morning, but it's a start. Welcome back me to the blogging world. :)
I completely trust God with my whole being and I am so glad that I do. I'm glad I have Him in my life and that He is my ROCK. Without Him I would for sure be institutionalized by now. I have moments where I think I may still end up there but for my kid's sake I truly hope not.
Brian moved out January 11th of this year. That day was one of the hardest days of my life. In a lot of ways it has since gotten easier. You adjust and keep moving forward especially when you have four young children looking up to you for your responses and relying on you. Tonight however I can't sleep and I NEVER have trouble sleeping. I am exhausted every night and typically when my head hits that pillow I am out like a light. Tonight though the tears showed up. Again, not something that often happens to me. There has been so much hurt and loss already, yet there may need to be more before we are done.
I have a very love/hate relationship with our dog. She is sweet and lovable but full of it. She is high energy and with all that has transpired in our lives everyone is on autopilot/coping mode. For some that means sitting in front of the tv, some it means never sitting still, whatever it is.....the dog has gotten the raw leftovers. She is not being cared for in the way she needs to be cared for. She is a sweet, sweet girl and Dylan adores her. She is his best friend yet with all the loss he forgets her. Part of me wants to see her go because she destroys everything and makes a mess of everything including our front yard that looks like a minefield. But the other part of me can't bear the thought of losing one more thing/person in my own life let alone my 11-year old's. Brian asked our dentist yesterday if he wanted her. He is thinking about it. I just completely lost it tonight at the thought of her being gone and my broken son's heart.
I was fighting with one of my 14-year old's earlier about getting off Xbox to go to bed. So in thinking about my priorities as a mom and in trying to teach my kid' show to work hard, manage their time, grieve properly, I have decided that the tv's are going away for the rest of the summer as of tomorrow morning. I know most of you probably think. I am crazy(though I don't have many followers anyways), however as hard of an adjustment it will be for all of us, I think it will improve life all the way around when we all adjust. The dog will be better cared for, we will have time for regular devotions, everyone will have time to read, play games together, and get more exercise. All of the relationships within my home will strengthen, all because of ridding my home of a tool that right now Satan is using to tear my home apart. Call me crazy, but if nothing else, will you please pray for us. When we got rid of cable months ago, we didn't really miss it, so now it is time for the next step.
That is where I am at tonight. Not sure how much sense I made at 1:00 in the morning, but it's a start. Welcome back me to the blogging world. :)
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