Vacation

So I am in Canada at my In-laws for 5 days with 3 of my kiddos. I am a mix of emotions. I am truly enjoying quality time with three of my kids as well as his parents and over the next few days more family and friends.  I love coming up here. It is a break from routine. I need that like a breath of fresh air right now, so do the kids. However, leaving one child behind out if necessity and not having my husband travel with us anymore either just breaks my heart, especially when you are traveling familiar childhood territory of your almost former spouse.  I teared up a few times on the way up. Memories flooded in several times. And again traveling just 4 of us instead of 6 is torture.

The kids and I have had a blast since getting here. We took Ruby for a bike ride run around the neighborhood, then three of us rode our bikes to the park and I swung high in the sky like a bird on the swings. I felt like a kid again and very relaxed. It was wonderful. All in all this will be a good weekend. I am just worried moving forward what my relationship with these dear people will become, because for all their faults, they are still family. After 17 plus years what else would they be?

Pray for the kids and I that we enjoy our time and relax fully while we are here. And that God would guard my heart. The kid's relationship with these people isn't changing, but mine may be in the very near future and it saddens me deeply.