Count Your Blessings

I am someone who loves to have all of my ducks in a row.  God has a sense of humor.  My life is nothing if not unpredictable.  I have learned to roll with the punches, go with the flow, be spontaneous, laugh at my circumstances; because let's face it, there are a lot of days it is laughable.  Clean dishes?  Vacuumed floors? Folded laundry?  It has been at least 3 years since those things have been at the top of my priority list. 

I am now homeschooling my 8 year old daughter 3rd grade.  We have a puppy and a bunny in the house now.  Bradley is living with my parents.  I work one day a week.  The dog brings in messes, the bunny pees on me occasionally, the dog pukes in the van.  The kids leave stuff everywhere in their hurry to get to the next thing we have going on.  Supper is often on the run.  I go to the gym at 8pm with a friend because I simply have no other time in the day to do it. 

Our calendar is filled to the max with appointments that cost money and take a lot of time and energy.  I have to rearrange and juggle and change them when other things pop up that weren't known at least a month in advance.  I almost miss appointments because of how scatter-brained I am lately with the stress of family problems.  I just laugh at myself and race around getting everyone out the door to be where they need to be and off we go running.

Don't get me wrong, I have my moments.  Just yesterday the stress and busyness and forgetfulness with my brain got me to a place where I had to ask my kid's forgiveness because I yelled and said some things that were truly unkind.  I was running on 5 hours of sleep and too much going on and way too much stress and I lost my cool.  They are such blessings though because they know I love them and would never hurt them on purpose.  They say cruel things sometimes that hurt my feelings.  I try not to show it unless it requires correction.  I know sometimes they just don't feel well or are tired or grumpy and grace is needed. 

Sometimes I would like to curl up in a ball and sleep away the days so that I don't have to think or feel anything anymore.  It is in those moments that God's strength, grace, peace and love overwhelm me.  Just yesterday I was reading a Proverbs 31 devotional and it was EXACTLY what I needed to read about JOY.  God's goodness is amazing.  I don't know how I would do it without him.  I also have friends who check in often or who I know I can call if I need them at any time of day.  They are amazing.  I also have a gym partner that when I feel least like going we go, because we both know how good it feels when we are finished.  I came home last night feeling so good compared to when I left the house. 

God has given me so many reasons to be thankful.  I was reminded of my favorite hymn the other day, Count Your Blessings:

1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
   When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
   Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
   And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
   
   • Refrain:
     Count your blessings, name them one by one,
     Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
     Count your blessings, name them one by one,
     *Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
     [*And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.]
2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
   Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
   Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
   And you will keep singing as the days go by.
3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
   Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
   Count your many blessings—*money cannot buy [*wealth can never buy]
   Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
4. So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
   Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
   Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
   Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Like Ann Voskamp says about listing your thanks,  if you are busy doing that you don't have time to complain or dwell on the negative things in your life.