Proven Faithful Yet Again! :)

Philippians 4:19~ "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

So God far exceeded my expectations today. Are you surprised?!? I was, and I'm not sure why!! :) First, Kelsey's appointment with the cardiologist went early and really well!!! She had her EKG and we saw the doctor(whom I love) and he was great with her(he was last year also). He said that she should be treated like a healthy little girl and that he didn't feel the need to see her again unless we have some concern we know where to find him. YAY!!! One done! :) She also didn't need the 24 hour heart monitor. He didn't feel the need. He said with patients with lyme sometimes get heart blockage and that she obviously didn't have that and that she was good to go! :)

So I called Brian who was at Dr. Carr's with Bradley and Dylan. He came and picked us up and instead of needing to wait until 1:30 to see Dr. Carr we were able to go straight there and have Kelsey's and My appointments because we got done early and he didn't have another patient until 11:30! YAY again! Our appointments went well with him also. Brian is on new meds that will hopefully help with his neurological symptoms and also hopefully won't give him as much trouble with his stomach. That and he doesn't have to worry about taking it 20 minutes before eating or worry about being in the sun with this new med. Bradley and Dylan are to continue doing what they are. We got them up to full amounts just Tuesday. It has been a rough couple of days and will continue to be so for a while, but God is bigger than this and I need to just take it in stride as much as I am able to. They are more tired, more irritable, and severely lacking self-control. For those of you saying, discipline them....it isn't that simple, trust me I know. Brian and I both experienced the aweful lack of self-control and irritability when we started treatment. It is the point at which you get worse before better and it is HARD!!! We need to have a massive extra dose of patience and love during this time. Kelsey is to continue doing what she is doing with her meds also. She is making progress on the ones she is on. Every month we are seeing improvement still and has not plateau'd yet. When she does, then he will switch her up again.

And me, well I just need to lower my expectations. I need to not expect the house to be clean, life to be calm and in order. He said "If there is food on the table every day and they have clothes on their back each morning(even if the shirt is dirty) then it has been a good day." He said to think of it as someone having just had a heart attack or going through cancer treatment. He reminded me what the main focus would be. That it is important to take care of getting everyone better, period. This is hard for me, and if you wouldn't mind praying for me in this it would be great. I have a really hard thing looking at clutter or dirt piled high, but for now to some degree I need to let it go. If not for my kid's and Brian's sake, for my own mental health.

The other really cool thing was that I was asking him about herbs alongside of antibiotics. I had heard that they helped speed up the process and he said that it would only make you feel better but would not actually get rid of the lyme. Then, on the way home Brian was sharing with me about a woman at work who had a relative who treated with herbs and was now really sick again. I felt this was such a huge answer to prayer for me. I needed to hear this. I have been asking God if we should add herbs to our regimen, but I feel that God is showing us that it is an expense that is unnecessary.

I am so glad for His continued direction in this journey. He truly is a Faithful God!!! He has never let me down and He isn't about to now. :)

Philippians 4:13

So our lives apparently weren't interesting enough! :) Bradley and Dylan are up to their full doses of antibiotics as of yesterday and MAN what a couple of days we have had! It is probably a good thing that they are on vacation and yet, PHEW!!! I want a break! They have been so miserable, Brad especially that I am at my whits end. That and Kelsey had one of her "not all there" sessions for an hour yesterday afternoon and then like a switch it was over. I tell you I am glad I have God with me or else I would be long gone I think. Bradley and I were going to have a date tonight, but I told him that he would not want to spend time with me right now. I informed him that when Dad and I have a date planned and we are just not getting along that we cancel the date until we can enjoy the time together, because what is the point?!? So he and Dylan are upstairs listening to the Canadiens game on their radios. :)

Tomorrow we are headed to Lebanon/Hanover for the day. We are leaving around 7am and will be back around 4:30. Kelsey sees the cardiologist in the morning at Dartmouth while Brian, Bradley and Dylan see Dr. Carr. She is having an ekg and seeing the dr and then getting hooked up to the heart monitor for 24 hours. Then Brian will pick us up and we will go to lunch before heading back to Dr. Carr's for Kelsey's and my appts. It will be a long day, but hopefully a good one. They can always be a blessing even though they look like they will be a bummer. I am praying for the blessing tomorrow.

God will see us through this trial yet.....He is so good even in the midst of my chaos!! :) Praise Him! :)

Philippians 4:13~"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Happy Easter!

So we are back from a quick trip to Montreal. We left Saturday morning around 7:20 and got back tonight around 8:00. It was quick but didn't seem awefully short...I'm so glad for that. We had such a sweet time with Brian's family too. It was such a blessing to get to spend some time with them and surprise his mom. They were having a surprise birthday dinner for her and she didn't know about it to begin with, but definitely didn't know we would be there all the way from NH. She was thrilled....it made it all worth it! :)

The kids did fabulous also. For the end of a busy week, we usually crash on the weekends and yet they are old enough now(thank goodness) that they just go with the flow for the most part. The 3 boys were up until 11:30 last night watching the Canadiens game with us. They were still up at 6 this morning(crazy children). They were really good though, they took a nap on the ride home. The first time ever all 4 of our kids fell asleep in the backseat together!!! They are not huge sleep-in-the-van kids. Even when we were driving up there one time around Christmas and they were all quite little, they were still awake when we arrived there after 11pm!!! What is up with that?!? Then of course they are so excited about being there and after sitting so long they have to run off some energy before they can go to bed. An hour later(at least) they finally crashed. :)

So Brian and I kept forgetting that today was Easter with all the craziness of normal life here in our home and then added on top of that heading to Montreal for a quick trip made forgetting easy. But it isn't something to be forgotten. Christ Arose!!!! :) HALLELUJAH!!!! Without today we would have no hope. Without His rising from the dead, we would have no hope after death. There would be no hope for Ethan or for me seeing him again some day. But because of God's gift to us of His son not only dying to take the punishment for our sins, but rising from the dead and claiming victory over death, we now have a hope that only He can give!!! I am so thankful for that truth!!! He loves ME!!! He loves YOU too!!!

I hope you all took the time today to remember His love for you! And just how much that love cost him! Happy Easter! :)

Good Friday

It's Good Friday so I feel like I should reflect on God's goodness. What an amazing God we serve. That He would be willing to share His only son with us is an amazing gift! I had to give up one of my sons almost 7 years ago now and what a difficult thing to go through. I had no choice in the matter and on top of that, he didn't ever have to suffer the terrible things of this world, much less die a gruesome death. God willingly gave up His only son to come to a world where he would be hated and rejected and brutally murdered. He did this all for us knowingly!!! For people who were his enemy! Would I have been willing to give up my son for that?!? Probably not! I am thankful for the fact that Ethan is in a better place and that I will some day get to see him. I can't wait! And it is all because of today and Easter that I have that hope of seeing him again!

Don't forget to stop today and this weekend, and really every day, and think of all that God has done for you and Praise Him and thank Him for it!!! We are truly blessed beyond measure!

Happy Easter to you all!!!

Life Can be Hard

John 16:33b~"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Praise the Lord!!! Can I hear an AMEN?!? Life is so depressing some days isn't it? A new friend of mine who I got to know through reading her blog as she wrote about her baby she would lose to Anencephaly after birth(maybe before). Her baby died December 3rd. Brian and I lost a baby. My family all suffers from Lyme disease and is enduring long-term treatment. A good friend of mine, her little girl is being tested for Cystic Fibrosis. A friend of ours is in prison. Another friend of mine(a couple actually) have gone through cancer treatment. Why is life so difficult? Why are things so hard? There are so many more I could share right now but I won't. I don't want to depress you. Look at the verse again. Jesus has overcome the world!!! This is all temporary. We live in a sinful fallen world where God doesn't promise an easy road, but instead His grace to hold us up on this journey. Remember 2 Corinthians 12:9~ "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And Romans 8:18~"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." God allows trials to come our way because they are to grow our faith, turn our eyes to Him and bring glory to Him. Jeremiah 29:11~"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope." Our job is to hold onto Him in the dark days. John 15:4~"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." We can't do it alone!!! He is totally available to us. We just need to hold onto those roots!!!

On a lighter note to leave you with.....When I parked at Walmart today there was a bald man walking through the parking lot toward his car as I was walking into the store. My hair was blowing into my eyes, my mouth, etc(you get the picture). I was thinking at that moment that "Wouldn't it be nice to be able to be bald and not have your hair to blow in your face on a windy day." Let's just say I didn't pick the best day to take the time to fix my hair all nice. Take it a step further, I wouldn't have to buy shampoo or expensive hair products or waste all that time every morning to blow dry and style it!!!

Hope you are all keeping your eyes on our Savior today!!! He is Lord because He saved us and we accepted, now let Him be Lord over all the other areas of your life!!! Trust Him with all your cares....I Peter 5:7~"Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you."

Out the door we go......

So my morning was actually quite calm this morning and I thought "Wow, this went well compared to most mornings". Until we hit the bus stop and Dylan got out of the van and realized that he hadn't gotten dressed. He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday! So he proceeded to walk back down the road to the house while I waited with Kelsey to get her on the bus. I then had to go pick him up and drive him to school.....LOL. So much for my smooth sailing morning......Compared to yesterday however it was really easier. Yesterday the boys had projects due which they had supposedly finished the night before, but then in the AM realized that they needed crazy glue to stay together better. So I called Brian to ask where it was and proceeded to attach the pieces together and still they didn't stay well, so we had to just be satisfied with the product. They apparently have spirit week this week as well and thought of it that morning and wanted to have shirts that had hockey names and logos on them. They didn't have the appropriate jerseys that they wanted. Bradley's shirt was in the washing machine mid-cycle and we had 45 minutes. So I proceeded to spin it out and grab it out and throw it in the dryer. We had 5 minutes to spare and were frantically writing all of the information on the shirt. He finished just as he had to walk out the door for his ride to school. PHEW!!! I tell you, by the time they all get out the door for school by 8:30 I am ready for a nap. I have done half a day's work by then!!! LOL.

On a more serious note, God was reminding me that His purpose and plan for our lives is to glorify Him, even in those crazy moments of the day where we are rushing around frantically trying to prepare ourselves for the day ahead. He wants us to acknowledge Him even in our craziness. Life is busy and messy but He is in the midst of it all. Not yelling or getting frustrated is so important. It can be stressful, but so what.....tomorrow it will all be gone, so why not enjoy the chaos while it is here.

The abbreviated version of our story

So, this is my first attempt(actually about the 15th) at getting this blog going. I hope to find joy in looking back at each day and focusing on the many blessings God has showered on me and my family. Hopefully it will be a reminder to me throughout the day to look for the "God-sightings" as I think about recording them at the end of each day.

Life can get mundane and heavy and I don't ever want to forget what a great God I serve. I want to have my "God-glasses" on so I can grow in my love for Him and in turn share that love with my children and others that He puts in my path. So, for now, here is my story.....

I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home. I was never without anything I needed. When I graduated from high school I had no idea what I wanted to do so waited a semester and worked. Then God showed me that NBBI is where He wanted me. I went and little did I know that His plan was that I meet Brian. Brian and I dated until November and then got engaged. The following October we were married. We knew that God was calling us back to NBBI for Brian to finish, but we fought against that a lot! We went to a marriage conference that early spring after we married and it was there that Brian decided he was ready to start a family. He was already 27. So we got pregnant and decided to move in with my parents for just a few months to save money for a house before the "baby" came. God had other plans in mind. A week after we moved in with my parents, we found out we were pregnant with twins!!! 3 weeks after that, we went away for our 1st anniversary and ended up in the hospital in pre-term labor. From there it was down-hill. More preterm labor, in and out of the hospital, diabetes, and finally toxemia which is why we finally delivered. Two healthy boys, Bradley and Nicholas who are now 11!!! Where did that time go?!? They were sheer delight! They still are! We went to visit friends in Northern Maine in April of that year and visited NBBI and decided finally to obey God's voice to go back to finish Bri's schooling. Nothing like waiting until you had 2 babies! :) God was so good though. It was the most growing 2 years we had in our married life. There are so many stories I could share, but let's just say that faith was in high demand and grew in leaps and bounds while there.

After we finished our last 2 years there, we moved back to NH. We got pregnant with Dylan that summer, he is now 8!!! :) He is pure joy also. He has been so much fun. He is certainly stuck in a rock and a hard place being younger than twin brothers and older than his sister, but he fairs well in spite of it all. The following year we got pregnant again hoping to have a sibling close to Dylan in age, but God had other plans in mind. Ethan died at 32 weeks. We never found out why. God wanted him in heaven with him. Our peace with the matter was that he would never have the chance to reject God while on this earth. He was secure in heaven with our Savior and we will see him again some day. It was a difficult thing to process, but God's peace passed all understanding and His hope carried us through. It was an extremely bonding time for Brian and I in our marriage.

A few months later we got pregnant again. It was a tough 9 months waiting to see if something bad would happen again. Again God's peace passed all understanding and we just had to rest in knowing He was in control. At our half-way ultrasound we found out it was a GIRL!!! :) We were ecstatic! We also finally were accepted at a church in Maine for Brian to pastor. We moved there in May and that August sent our boys off to Kindergarten and the same day ended up at the hospital giving birth to Kelsey(who is just finishing her Kindergarten year and is 5-will be 6 at the end of the summer!!!). Our 15 months in Maine were a stretching experience in every way. Kelsey had a rough 1st year in health and was in the hospital twice and the ER a couple of times as well. Our family was practically ripped apart at the seams, but God is sooooo good!!!! We left Maine the following July and bought a house back in NH and spent the next 2-3 years gluing the pieces of our family back together, with God's help being the glue.

We are now feeling "settled". The kids are in the public school. Brian and I feel that at least for now the kids should be there. God has used them mightily in the lives of the teachers, children and those children's parents lives. We have had the opportunity to invite children to Good News Club, AWANA, VBS, church, SS, etc. It has not been an easy road, but we know it is where God wants them for now. They are in the world, but being trained to not be of the world. It is ultimately their personal choice and that is tough sometimes, but again we place our hope and faith in a God who loves them even more than I do.

We host a young adults small group in our home on Thursday nights and we love our group. They are such a blessing! Brian works for the power company here locally and also writes books on the side. His prayer is that some day God would allow that to be his full-time job and that he will be able to travel speaking with his books. I am busy caring for a family of 6, and work part-time at my dad and brother's company doing filing and data entry.

God has truly blessed us.

Leaving you on a cute note.....Kelsey Sunday thought it was pom-pom Sunday instead of Palm Sunday. :)